it came late

The hurt, that is. It seems she hates my guts now, blaming me for every single thing that went wrong. Threw everything that has anything to do with me out, etc. Saw her briefly in college earlier. The look she gave me could've killed me right then and there. A brief moment, but I saw all the hate in her eyes. It probably feels like how painful it will be if I were a practice dummy for shuriken training. For a decade.

Recreate the romance, and you recreate the heartbreak. That is an understatement. And all along I thought I was cool-headed enough to treat it as a fling. A word to everyone out there: if you do break up with someone, don't ever go back, not even for a fling. Unless you've never given your heart in the first place, it will always hurt worse than before.

She's happy now, I guess. No one around to nag her about the multitudes of boyfriends she has now. Being able to put all the blame for everything that went wrong on me, and being able to hate me so thoroughly for it. I thought that it was romantic being the fool for her. What I did not expect is that, in the end, that's all I am to her. A fool to blame everything on so she can feel better herself.

I wish I can be that cruel. At least I'll feel better. The only person I hate is myself, for being such a stupid bastard. The only thing good that came out of this, is that now I truly believe in the phrase "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I'm still alive. I'll live yet.