complications

I shouldn't have had the fling. Things might be getting way out of hand right now.

My ex has been messaging me on the phone since last night, telling
about how she can't sleep and can't forget me and shit like that. This
morning, it got worse. She hinted at wanting to kill herself. Honestly,
I don't really think she's up for it, but there is the faint chance
that it might happen and I really wonder how much it'll affect me if it
did.

I've told her again and again that it's over. There is no way that I
can ever love or trust her like before again. We've had our chances,
quite a few of them, to make things work but she just kept letting
those chances slip by.

She had the guts to tell me that the other boyfriends she has right now
are not the ones she wants. I was like, "What the fuck you talking
about?. If they weren't what you want, what the hell were you doing
with them?".

Nobody really gets all that they want in life. To be happy, you have to
know when to stop being greedy and be glad with what you have. "The
price of getting what you want is getting what once you wanted." Neil
Gaiman shit. Extremely true too. I think I almost made that a mantra
for my life. If only she'd understand what that means when I told her
that last year.

What I really need to do now is to make sure that nothing bad happens.
I really don't need some shit like that on my conscience. Actually, I
feel like she's trying to manipulate me into getting back together with
her again. There's always the off-chance that she's really depressed
and shit. Maybe the best way is really just to ignore her. Kinda cruel,
but if I really have to do it that way, maybe I will.

I can probably call up one of her boyfriends too. I know the guy, got
his number and all that. Let him help her out? It'll be weird though,
me calling him asking him to take care of her. So freaking lame, like
some old movies with some loser ex-boyfriend asking the new boyfriend
to take care of the girl, while secretly wishing to score points with
her. HA. Ha. No, I'm definitely not doing that.
------

I think I'd finally gotten through to her. The last sms
seems she's ok. I really do hope she is, although it took her 2 hours
to reply... Oh well, maybe it's one of the boyfriends.

Sometimes I really wonder why people go through all the emotional
hassles of being in a relationship. I mean, it's all sweet and nice and
stuff when it starts out, but things never last. Sooner or later it's
gonna go bad and you'll wish you'd never started it.

Me and her, we haven't really been together that long. I'd tried my
best to make things work when things started to go wrong. As I'd always
say, a relationship is a thing between 2 persons. If only one side is
gonna work hard towards making it work, it will never work out. Two
plus years, and I'm already too tired to continue this.

The best stories are good because they know when to end. If you
continued at it long enough, every story is probably gonna stop with a
bad ending.