missing someone

It's weird how you can miss someone. It could be someone you love, like, hate, barely seen, or just absolutely despise. Maybe it's your classmate(s), or a lover(ex-lover, maybe?), your parents... it's just downright weird.

Sometime you'd suddenly think about a stranger that passed you by in the mall. Maybe it was a cute girl or a hot chick, or maybe someone that has a special, attractive aura, or maybe it's someone with a weird/great fashion sense. Sometimes you might regret not introducing yourself, or you might think what kinda person that was, how he/she is like or maybe what would've happened if you took the chance to say hi.

I think that's a kind of missing someone too. Some people I know would go back to the same place at roughly the same time to see if they can meet the other person again. Some would tell friends that they regret not taking the chance, and that they would've acted differently if given another chance.

Most of the time, I think it's because that you really love someone. When I say love here, I don't mean love as in loving a lover, partner or spouse. Probably just loving someone cos he/she is a true friend. You'd always think about how they're doing or what they're up to. Are they doing better than before? Or maybe they're in trouble?

This is very real, especially when you haven't seen, heard from or talk to the friend in question for a long time. You'd miss seeing his/her smiling face, or the great conversations that you had. I have friends like these. Some of us have so much piled up to be done yesterday, we just couldn't meet up as often as we can. Most of us are hundreds, and even thousands, of miles apart, and so we have to settle with the emails and instant chats, sometimes the occassional "are-you-still-alive-cos-i-am-thinking-of-you" cards. Distance is such a bitch. :P

Then there's kind that everyone likes and are willing to suffer for, thinking that it's part of what happiness is. The kind that applies to lovers and couples and even those that secretly admire someone but are too afraid to admit it, let alone do anything about it.

You'd miss the smiles and the twinkling of the eyes. Their laughter. The tiny little unobtrusive body language that somehow, unknowingly, pulls at your heart everytime you see it, and so you always wait and hope that you'll see it again. The warmth and the feeling of everything falling into place like it's destined when you're together. It's like you'd die if you don't see each other for a day, even though you see each other almost everyday and when you don't, you're always messaging or chatting on the phone. (Or maybe even online...)

Honestly, though, the worst situation would be sitting right next to someone and missing him/her because you know that this is the closest you'd ever get and you could never have him/her. There'd be all sorts of what-if's and if-only's but you'd know, deep down inside, that it'll never be. It's hard to accept that fact, and even though you might somehow think you had accepted it, you'd still wish that it could be more. It's sorta like being so near, but still oceans apart somehow...

"Miles and miles of empty space in between us,
A telephone can't take the place of your smile..."
- When I Need You, Leo Slayer.