i was in this temporary room with 2 beds. it's where they put people after an operation, before the actual room the patient wants is sorted out.
my mom and bro were there first thing in the morning. mom worried the whole night even though i already called and told her that i only broke a leg, everywhere else was ok except for minor scratches, the ct-scan was all clear too. after seeing the truth of it, she was in a better shape. :) anyway, the worse part at the time, besides my leg, was my lower lip. it was all swollen and raw.
james and a few other were there a bit later. then a few of my superiors. the doctor came by, told me the surgery went well, that i'll be in pain for some time (as if i can't feel that), that i'll be able to start learning to walk with crutches in 3 days, then discharged within the week.
with the pain that i was in, i was really skeptical of that.
towards noon, one of the staff nurses came by to move me to a room that i was entitled to according to my company's insurance. i was all too happy to move because the old man on the bed next to me turns on the tv too loud.
the nurse told me that it'll be on the 3rd floor. imagine my surprise when i was pushed out of the elevator and was pushed towards the direction pointed to by a sign that says "executive suite" (or something like that). the room was huge, nice bed, sofas, fridge, tv, and a big closet for clothes. my mom was wondering whether they had me in the wrong place, which i totally agreed. my brother was going on about how the room is more like made for visitors than me, cos i couldn't move anyway, which i totally agreed with too.
after much checking, the nurse told me that they actually did make a mistake. i'm entitled to the twin sharing rooms downstairs. i was too tired by then, so i just told her that i'd pay whatever extra that the insurance won't cover. she was all too happy about that. :)
(later, i found out that they're still gonna cover everything for me. i haven't been back yet to confirm everything, hopefully they won't let me down on this.)
so, i ended up in a nice room with a nice view for the next 2 weeks. i over-stayed cos i had to arrange for the rest of my stuff to be moved to the new place, and also wait for my bro to be free to come drive me back to ipoh for my recovery.
i also had to make a police report so that i can claim from squall's insurance. the bastard didn't want to take any responsibility and just said that his insurance will take care of everything when i ask him. after that, he just stopped calling or answering calls. til now, i still feel that there should be something in the law to make people like these bear responsibility, even though they have insurance.
the police report was a hassle. i had to travel all the way to the hq in georgetown to make the report. they wouldn't send anyone over to the hospital to take the statement. another fine example of how malaysian public service is in total contradiction to it's supposed goal - provide convenience and simplicity to life.
the nurses are great. very friendly, except for one. i have no idea what's wrong with her. anyway, i made a couple of pretty promising acquaintances with a couple of them. i'm not sure if anything will come out of those, but we're still in contact now. :)
learning to walk on crutches was easier than i thought. i was all over the room after a couple of lessons despite the pain. it was a really healthy change from being confined to the bed. i was really glad it wasn't too hard, cos they'll be my best friend for at least a few months.
the 2 weeks in the hospital more or less let me know who are the best friends i had in penang at the time. i didn't really let too many people know about the whole thing, didn't want to make a big fuss out of it, but news traveled efficiently, especially in the office (thanks to james for scaring some people by sending them email about my accident, haha). quite a lot of people came, some came everyday. +2 even left me her ipod speakers/charger so that i wouldn't be too bored, which (somehow, unknown to me) i broke. the thing still charges, but the speakers died. i still have yet to pay her back for that.
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Sunday, July 30, 2006
how may i be of service?
women in the workplace are actually more empowered than we are led to believe.
it's true. this empowerment doesn't just come from corporate or workplace policies (ie, harrassments n stuff), but from their male counterparts thinking more with their penises than their brains. of course, in most cases, this is subject to one or more of the following: 1)she's hot; 2)there aren't much competition around; 3)she's not butt ugly.
case in point, the place where i work. it's famous among the companies around there area for having lotsa chicks, and mostly hot ones at that. although i don't really agree to the second part, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, i digress.
now, here's what most people doesn't know - the abundance of the fairer sex is only limited to a few departments, with sales having the most, obviously. from my experience with them, i know they are used to getting their way with things and people. if wiles, charms AND threats don't work, you will get an email from their boss, or to YOUR boss, or worse. of course, when it's outside of work they have most guys by their balls, and this is only half metaphorically.
those in departments overflowing with male testosterone (mine being one of those) doesn't even need to grab anyone's ball to get what they want. guys will line up to lick their feet and ask to be of service in whichever way possible. again, this is subjected to the 3 conditions above, 'cos i can definitely see a couple of them in my department not getting any special treatment at all.
so, on and around valentine's day, christmas and almost any overly-commercialized holidays, flowers and gifts flood into the office, and cluttering the desks of (almost) every non butt-ugly chick. i still remember this huge ratan bird cage with a half-foot tall teddy bear holding a heart, sitting on a swing with flowers on the bottom from last year. the whole thing was probably 2-3 feet tall and this poor girl actually had to go downstairs to the employee entrance to collect it, then bring the whole thing up to her desk, going through probably half of the office's cubicles. actually, poor girl is probably a very bad adjective to use, seeing as she's getting such affectionate thoughts.
normal days, you got random gifts, cakes or other "designer" food on desks. extra help on work so that they don't have to strain their brains too much, in case of getting new wrinkles. help with sales leads, help with technical advise, help with taking weird hour shifts and almost anything you can think of. i think the worse part of all this is that this whole thing is being rubbed in as something guys should do to be more "gentleman".
this past valentine's day, i thought i'd do something to give the ones that seldom/never get any presents a little suprise. well, just the ones i know personally. so i made cards and buy small packets of chocolates, then left those at their desks before i went home the night before valentine.
two hours later i got a call from a co-worker on night shift that night, asking whether i saw anyone leaving the chocolates and card on this chick desk. he's been going after this girl on my team for quite a while and hasn't been able to get anywhere near her pants, let alone inside them. i don't think i want to detail how "psycho" (word used to describe him by her) he gets when it comes to anything that remotely concerns her.
an observation: he's still one of her best resources at work.
that's the power women hold at work nowadays - our balls.
no, wait. your balls, probably. 'cos i definitely don't give a shit.
it's true. this empowerment doesn't just come from corporate or workplace policies (ie, harrassments n stuff), but from their male counterparts thinking more with their penises than their brains. of course, in most cases, this is subject to one or more of the following: 1)she's hot; 2)there aren't much competition around; 3)she's not butt ugly.
case in point, the place where i work. it's famous among the companies around there area for having lotsa chicks, and mostly hot ones at that. although i don't really agree to the second part, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, i digress.
now, here's what most people doesn't know - the abundance of the fairer sex is only limited to a few departments, with sales having the most, obviously. from my experience with them, i know they are used to getting their way with things and people. if wiles, charms AND threats don't work, you will get an email from their boss, or to YOUR boss, or worse. of course, when it's outside of work they have most guys by their balls, and this is only half metaphorically.
those in departments overflowing with male testosterone (mine being one of those) doesn't even need to grab anyone's ball to get what they want. guys will line up to lick their feet and ask to be of service in whichever way possible. again, this is subjected to the 3 conditions above, 'cos i can definitely see a couple of them in my department not getting any special treatment at all.
so, on and around valentine's day, christmas and almost any overly-commercialized holidays, flowers and gifts flood into the office, and cluttering the desks of (almost) every non butt-ugly chick. i still remember this huge ratan bird cage with a half-foot tall teddy bear holding a heart, sitting on a swing with flowers on the bottom from last year. the whole thing was probably 2-3 feet tall and this poor girl actually had to go downstairs to the employee entrance to collect it, then bring the whole thing up to her desk, going through probably half of the office's cubicles. actually, poor girl is probably a very bad adjective to use, seeing as she's getting such affectionate thoughts.
normal days, you got random gifts, cakes or other "designer" food on desks. extra help on work so that they don't have to strain their brains too much, in case of getting new wrinkles. help with sales leads, help with technical advise, help with taking weird hour shifts and almost anything you can think of. i think the worse part of all this is that this whole thing is being rubbed in as something guys should do to be more "gentleman".
this past valentine's day, i thought i'd do something to give the ones that seldom/never get any presents a little suprise. well, just the ones i know personally. so i made cards and buy small packets of chocolates, then left those at their desks before i went home the night before valentine.
two hours later i got a call from a co-worker on night shift that night, asking whether i saw anyone leaving the chocolates and card on this chick desk. he's been going after this girl on my team for quite a while and hasn't been able to get anywhere near her pants, let alone inside them. i don't think i want to detail how "psycho" (word used to describe him by her) he gets when it comes to anything that remotely concerns her.
an observation: he's still one of her best resources at work.
that's the power women hold at work nowadays - our balls.
no, wait. your balls, probably. 'cos i definitely don't give a shit.
Friday, March 31, 2006
fights
i hate fighting with ppl. it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, n always makes me think back n somehow think that i could've handled things better. somehow.
just had a, well, pretty huge fight with susi the other day, thru emails. started with a puppy. haha. ended up abt me being insensitive n her being too sensitive. or something like that. how sad can i be.
i still remember the last 2 fights i had besides that, maybe because i really avoid fighting or aggressive confrontations if i could. the one before this is mid last year, a fight over the phone with a very arrogant sales person in my company. someone who was notorious for bullying everyone else into doing what she wants, how she wants. i just refused to give in. :)
the one before that, was with my ex, a mth before we broke up in ... hhmmm... april 2004. i think it should be april, cos i was in the hospital for the last part of march.
and again, i'm thinking whether i could've handle all these situations better. :)
just had a, well, pretty huge fight with susi the other day, thru emails. started with a puppy. haha. ended up abt me being insensitive n her being too sensitive. or something like that. how sad can i be.
i still remember the last 2 fights i had besides that, maybe because i really avoid fighting or aggressive confrontations if i could. the one before this is mid last year, a fight over the phone with a very arrogant sales person in my company. someone who was notorious for bullying everyone else into doing what she wants, how she wants. i just refused to give in. :)
the one before that, was with my ex, a mth before we broke up in ... hhmmm... april 2004. i think it should be april, cos i was in the hospital for the last part of march.
and again, i'm thinking whether i could've handle all these situations better. :)
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
betrayed
i just found out this morning that i got shot in the back in front of my team lead, by someone i considered a friend.
it all started last wk when, during my last 1x1, my team lead told me that someone complained about me not handling some cases properly. of course, i asked for some kinda reference so that i can check. i've been doing things by the book all along, so i was suprised when this came up.
finally, i got an email with the references this morning, n i checked them out. turned out it was this fella whom, for the past year, i've helped both professionally n personally. the cases were going sour, with possible escalations. i handled them exactly as i should when they passed thru my hands, it was quite obvious that he put the blame on me to protect himself from possible hot water that might be pouring right at him later.
this got me really pissed off. a very unexpected betrayal, n it further proves that even if u think u're friends with ppl at work, u'd better think again. anyone can just suddenly turn around n step on u, or empty a few rounds behind ur back.
i dunno how i'm gonna handle this with that fella yet. whether i should talk to him directly, or just bide my time n push him down a spiked pit when one comes along. i think i'm gonna spend the night to cool myself down before i make a decision on that.
it all started last wk when, during my last 1x1, my team lead told me that someone complained about me not handling some cases properly. of course, i asked for some kinda reference so that i can check. i've been doing things by the book all along, so i was suprised when this came up.
finally, i got an email with the references this morning, n i checked them out. turned out it was this fella whom, for the past year, i've helped both professionally n personally. the cases were going sour, with possible escalations. i handled them exactly as i should when they passed thru my hands, it was quite obvious that he put the blame on me to protect himself from possible hot water that might be pouring right at him later.
this got me really pissed off. a very unexpected betrayal, n it further proves that even if u think u're friends with ppl at work, u'd better think again. anyone can just suddenly turn around n step on u, or empty a few rounds behind ur back.
i dunno how i'm gonna handle this with that fella yet. whether i should talk to him directly, or just bide my time n push him down a spiked pit when one comes along. i think i'm gonna spend the night to cool myself down before i make a decision on that.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
what a way to start the year
a friend of mine killed himself the friday before valentine's.
it came as quite a shock when another friend informed me about this over the phone. i have never thought that any of my friends would really do something as drastic as taking one's own life. (killing another, maybe. ) all i could react to when i got the news over the phone was to agree with pooling together money for the family.
i'm not very close with this friend, so this is not some kinda orbituary or memorial post. just me, not understanding why people would wanna take their own lives.
i still remember him being a very active student back in high school. the fella's always somewhere among the top 20% of the class, did very well in public speaking and singing contests, ok in sports. he was in the school band, and was even the head prefect in school.
he didn't really get far after high school, from what i heard. family didn't do great and he couldn't get a good enough scholarship to get through college, since he was never anywhere near the top 5% in class.
the last time i heard from him was mid last year at another friend's wedding. a few of us car-pooled to KL for the banquet. he came across as a lil depressed, lacked confidence and pretty much tried to hide most of his feelings.
then came the phone call about him jumping off the top floor of the place he was living in.
come to think of it, i didn't do much better than he did, even in high school. even though i was a nerd and basically ended up in the top 3 in class every year, i was never very active in school activities. well, that's mostly because i hate the school's discipline. deliberately failed the prefect exam twice cos the diciplinary master's a bitch. after high school, i never really pour myself into studies anymore until i got back from the states. most of the time, i'm just enjoying myself by indulging in whatever fancies me at the time.
i probably wouldn't be suffering where i am now, if i'd lived paying more attention to my future. compared with most of my friends back from high school, i have really done much for a career.
so, i'm at a point in life where i should already be somewhere, but i'm still way behind on schedule. but i haven't lost hope yet. i still think i can hurry up and get back on schedule if i work hard enough.
one thing about playing games, especially RPGs, a lot is that it really made me realize that real life is not that kinda game -- you can't die and reload from a previously saved game; nor do you have extra lives to play with.
life's just a complicated one-way maze with more branches at every turn. you don't have a map, you can't go back and you're not sure whether you're headed to the correct exit (or if there really is an exit instead of all dead ends). kinda sucks if you think of it that way but i still think that there's always an exit, even if you came to a dead end, you might find a hidden door. :)
i guess that's what's interesting, not knowing where the path will really lead. that, and the other thing i learnt from games -- the bull-headed, stubborn insistence to make it all the way to the end.
it came as quite a shock when another friend informed me about this over the phone. i have never thought that any of my friends would really do something as drastic as taking one's own life. (killing another, maybe. ) all i could react to when i got the news over the phone was to agree with pooling together money for the family.
i'm not very close with this friend, so this is not some kinda orbituary or memorial post. just me, not understanding why people would wanna take their own lives.
i still remember him being a very active student back in high school. the fella's always somewhere among the top 20% of the class, did very well in public speaking and singing contests, ok in sports. he was in the school band, and was even the head prefect in school.
he didn't really get far after high school, from what i heard. family didn't do great and he couldn't get a good enough scholarship to get through college, since he was never anywhere near the top 5% in class.
the last time i heard from him was mid last year at another friend's wedding. a few of us car-pooled to KL for the banquet. he came across as a lil depressed, lacked confidence and pretty much tried to hide most of his feelings.
then came the phone call about him jumping off the top floor of the place he was living in.
come to think of it, i didn't do much better than he did, even in high school. even though i was a nerd and basically ended up in the top 3 in class every year, i was never very active in school activities. well, that's mostly because i hate the school's discipline. deliberately failed the prefect exam twice cos the diciplinary master's a bitch. after high school, i never really pour myself into studies anymore until i got back from the states. most of the time, i'm just enjoying myself by indulging in whatever fancies me at the time.
i probably wouldn't be suffering where i am now, if i'd lived paying more attention to my future. compared with most of my friends back from high school, i have really done much for a career.
so, i'm at a point in life where i should already be somewhere, but i'm still way behind on schedule. but i haven't lost hope yet. i still think i can hurry up and get back on schedule if i work hard enough.
one thing about playing games, especially RPGs, a lot is that it really made me realize that real life is not that kinda game -- you can't die and reload from a previously saved game; nor do you have extra lives to play with.
life's just a complicated one-way maze with more branches at every turn. you don't have a map, you can't go back and you're not sure whether you're headed to the correct exit (or if there really is an exit instead of all dead ends). kinda sucks if you think of it that way but i still think that there's always an exit, even if you came to a dead end, you might find a hidden door. :)
i guess that's what's interesting, not knowing where the path will really lead. that, and the other thing i learnt from games -- the bull-headed, stubborn insistence to make it all the way to the end.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
home sweet home
it's great to be back home in ipoh.
i haven't been back for a couple of month, and i was pretty lucky to be able to just take leave for friday outta no where and go home.
my ex-colleagues all agreed, as soon as they saw me, that i grew fat. damn. i knew that i've gained quite a lot of weight, especially in my mid-section, but hey, y'all didn't have to tell me that the first thing we meet. gah!
trying out jeans on saturday really slapped the fact right on my face. hard. i had to get a pair of jeans that's 2 inches wider in the waist then i usually get to make it fit comfortably. i REALLY need to do something about my weight.
mom's not really helping, but i don't blame her. i miss her cooking so much, i just finished everything she cooked, every meal at home. :) however much people say penang food is great, there's nothing better than a real home-cooked meal. i miss mom's food so much.
reminder: next time, get a return bus ticket as soon as i get back.
it was totally unexpected that most of today's tickets are all sold out. i'd already went a day earlier to get one, but the only ones left are for early morning buses. i ended up having to get the 10am one. missed out on another home-cooked lunch.
met up with a close friend on saturday for some shopping and catching up. she's popular as ever. her ex wants her back. her ex's best friend wants her. so do quite a few others. :)
the funniest was this really sad guy who's gone after 2 other girls in the span of one year, lost but didn't know how to quit, now also going after her. the funny fella actually bought her breakfast this morning. i'm not sure whether she ate it later or not, i'll check up on that later just for laughs, but she just dumped the whole box on her desk and went out for breakfast with me in front of him.
now, if he still doesn't get it after that, then he's a bigger loser than i think he is.
now i'm back in penang. almost fully charged from my trip back home. almost, because i didn't get to stay a few hours more. tomorrow's gonna be hell at work since i left quite a lot hanging thursday evening before i went off.
i haven't been back for a couple of month, and i was pretty lucky to be able to just take leave for friday outta no where and go home.
my ex-colleagues all agreed, as soon as they saw me, that i grew fat. damn. i knew that i've gained quite a lot of weight, especially in my mid-section, but hey, y'all didn't have to tell me that the first thing we meet. gah!
trying out jeans on saturday really slapped the fact right on my face. hard. i had to get a pair of jeans that's 2 inches wider in the waist then i usually get to make it fit comfortably. i REALLY need to do something about my weight.
mom's not really helping, but i don't blame her. i miss her cooking so much, i just finished everything she cooked, every meal at home. :) however much people say penang food is great, there's nothing better than a real home-cooked meal. i miss mom's food so much.
reminder: next time, get a return bus ticket as soon as i get back.
it was totally unexpected that most of today's tickets are all sold out. i'd already went a day earlier to get one, but the only ones left are for early morning buses. i ended up having to get the 10am one. missed out on another home-cooked lunch.
met up with a close friend on saturday for some shopping and catching up. she's popular as ever. her ex wants her back. her ex's best friend wants her. so do quite a few others. :)
the funniest was this really sad guy who's gone after 2 other girls in the span of one year, lost but didn't know how to quit, now also going after her. the funny fella actually bought her breakfast this morning. i'm not sure whether she ate it later or not, i'll check up on that later just for laughs, but she just dumped the whole box on her desk and went out for breakfast with me in front of him.
now, if he still doesn't get it after that, then he's a bigger loser than i think he is.
now i'm back in penang. almost fully charged from my trip back home. almost, because i didn't get to stay a few hours more. tomorrow's gonna be hell at work since i left quite a lot hanging thursday evening before i went off.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
july rants
the past month had been really busy. i've more or less dumped myself into work, pausing only long enough to attend an old classmates wedding dinner in KL.
this guy's the most successful fella that i know of in a relationship. first love, went on for 8 years, then got married. most of my other friends, me included, are like attached, break up, attached again, break up again. well, the 2 other exceptions, 1 got married a couple of years ago, and the other one is still going strong as far as i know. strangely, this other one is the one that most of the people we both know, including ex-classmates, say that we look good together. i guess that if we'd started anything when we were both in KL 10 years back, things might have been different.
10 years back. that make me feel my age. that, and my growing mid-section. i guess i'd better show some consistency in my crunches. :P
-
my new housemate brought the gf over a few wks ago, saying that she's coming over for a visit after her diploma. the visit became longer n longer until tonight, when they got back from KL, the first thing she asked me was whether it's ok for me if she planned to stay her, indefinitely.
since i'm not the main tenant, i said that maybe she should ask the other fella. her reply was that she's already asked n he said to ask me too. one look at the stuff they've brought back from KL, i guess she already decided to stay no matter what i'm gonna say. :)
i don't really mind having a girl around, since it's not like i'm running around naked in the apt. the only thing is that i can't really stand this girl. pretty noisy, fresh outta college with only a diploma in business administration.
i mean, what the fuck does a diploma in business administration show? what does it say what one can do? she n the bf actually asked if there were any vacancies in my company. i thought, what the hell, no harm in trying to help them out. so i asked her to pass me her resume, then asked what she wanted to do.
her answer? "consultant". so i asked, in what? "dunno ah~!" i've been working in my field for years and i don't see a consultant title anywhere in the near future.
this guy's the most successful fella that i know of in a relationship. first love, went on for 8 years, then got married. most of my other friends, me included, are like attached, break up, attached again, break up again. well, the 2 other exceptions, 1 got married a couple of years ago, and the other one is still going strong as far as i know. strangely, this other one is the one that most of the people we both know, including ex-classmates, say that we look good together. i guess that if we'd started anything when we were both in KL 10 years back, things might have been different.
10 years back. that make me feel my age. that, and my growing mid-section. i guess i'd better show some consistency in my crunches. :P
-
my new housemate brought the gf over a few wks ago, saying that she's coming over for a visit after her diploma. the visit became longer n longer until tonight, when they got back from KL, the first thing she asked me was whether it's ok for me if she planned to stay her, indefinitely.
since i'm not the main tenant, i said that maybe she should ask the other fella. her reply was that she's already asked n he said to ask me too. one look at the stuff they've brought back from KL, i guess she already decided to stay no matter what i'm gonna say. :)
i don't really mind having a girl around, since it's not like i'm running around naked in the apt. the only thing is that i can't really stand this girl. pretty noisy, fresh outta college with only a diploma in business administration.
i mean, what the fuck does a diploma in business administration show? what does it say what one can do? she n the bf actually asked if there were any vacancies in my company. i thought, what the hell, no harm in trying to help them out. so i asked her to pass me her resume, then asked what she wanted to do.
her answer? "consultant". so i asked, in what? "dunno ah~!" i've been working in my field for years and i don't see a consultant title anywhere in the near future.
Wednesday, May 4, 2005
feng shui & the likes
i helped a few friends by asking my mom doing this fortune telling thing for to more or less see how their life is headed n stuff. ended up one of them has a really fucked up life ahead according to 2 different fortune telling thingies my mom did - zi wei dou shu & cheng gu.
i dunno how am i supposed to give the bad news, or whether it'll just be better if i keep it to myself. actually, all of the stuff about this friend's past n also the current behaviour is sickly accurate. which makes me think that the rest of it might just be right.
normally, i don't believe in fortune telling shit. but zi wei dou shu is by far the most (scarily) accurate one that i've come upon, and the reason i'm saying this is that not only that it holds truth to my life, but also whoever's ming pan that i came across of people that i know of. at least half of these are people that my mom doesn't know personally.
so, when it's all sad news, it really worries me how much damage it'll do to the person receiving the news. especially when that someone believes in fortune telling n feng shui stuff so much. actually, come to think of it, people who doesn't really believe in that shit probably wouldn't just asked for a ming pan done out of the blue.
anyway, lillian too said my luck's gonna get a little better. i think she made the whole feng shui thing too commercialized. read thru her zodiac books n you'll see that she avoids telling you all the really bad stuff, n just simply go thru the motions of asking you to becareful. mostly, she just asks you to by crystals/charms that supposedly helps you out. conveniently, her shops sell these. meh~
seriously, the only kind of people that should even go for fortune telling is the kind that can take whatever news comes their way, n deal with it positively. this is the kind of people that do not turn to feng shui whenever things go bad. they shouldn't be the kind that ask for fortune telling, hoping to hear something good because their lives are currently stagnant or their in deep shit.
the power to change your life is in your own hands. fuck feng shui n fortune telling. it's your life. do something about it before you fuck it up.
-edit: fuck. can't get the chinese words to work. damn.
i dunno how am i supposed to give the bad news, or whether it'll just be better if i keep it to myself. actually, all of the stuff about this friend's past n also the current behaviour is sickly accurate. which makes me think that the rest of it might just be right.
normally, i don't believe in fortune telling shit. but zi wei dou shu is by far the most (scarily) accurate one that i've come upon, and the reason i'm saying this is that not only that it holds truth to my life, but also whoever's ming pan that i came across of people that i know of. at least half of these are people that my mom doesn't know personally.
so, when it's all sad news, it really worries me how much damage it'll do to the person receiving the news. especially when that someone believes in fortune telling n feng shui stuff so much. actually, come to think of it, people who doesn't really believe in that shit probably wouldn't just asked for a ming pan done out of the blue.
anyway, lillian too said my luck's gonna get a little better. i think she made the whole feng shui thing too commercialized. read thru her zodiac books n you'll see that she avoids telling you all the really bad stuff, n just simply go thru the motions of asking you to becareful. mostly, she just asks you to by crystals/charms that supposedly helps you out. conveniently, her shops sell these. meh~
seriously, the only kind of people that should even go for fortune telling is the kind that can take whatever news comes their way, n deal with it positively. this is the kind of people that do not turn to feng shui whenever things go bad. they shouldn't be the kind that ask for fortune telling, hoping to hear something good because their lives are currently stagnant or their in deep shit.
the power to change your life is in your own hands. fuck feng shui n fortune telling. it's your life. do something about it before you fuck it up.
-edit: fuck. can't get the chinese words to work. damn.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
same old same old
i turned down a couple of invitations from friends for another night of drinking n dancing n trying to pick up girls today. just can't find the strength to make the effort to drink n dance all night.
it dawned on me that there are certain group combinations that i usually do not like to go with. one of these is the oh-so-familiar-around-the-world-type -- a group of guys (read:wolves) on the prowl. if you're a guy, you'll know. you've been there before. well, if you're not a lifeless geek, that is. this combination just makes it so much harder to pick up any decent girls. i mean, c'mon, you're hanging out with a bunch of eyes-shining, saliva-drooling, sexually-depressed (at least they all look like it) guys, huddling around a table, oggling at any chick that passes by. if i were a chick, i'd just make a mental note to not let any of you near me.
the other type is the attention-crazed-girl-with-tons-a-guys combination. like, one or two girls, with tons of guys around, where most of the guys will be like trampling over each other to get to the (only) girl in the group. the girl's probably just with y'all cuz she don't want no cheesy strangers trying to pick her up. n that means y'all ain't getting laid with her either.
most people usually go with a pretty well-balanced group of guys n girls. you'd probably have to work at it to get anywhere in picking up girls in such a group if you don't have anything special (like me.), but at least you won't look such a loser unless you really screwed up big time.
the best is a guy with a bunch of pretty decent looking female friends. they don't have to be really hot or downright gorgeous, just decent looking. as far as i know, nothing screams out to women around that there's something special about you than being in a group like this in a club. i know, cuz when i club in such a group, i usually get picked up by chicks, instead of the other way around. honestly, everytime i'm out in such a group, i usually end up with someone not in the group at the end of the night.
so, when the invitations i got were all from the first two combinations, i just kinda felt tired to even go. well, i haven't really told anyone i'm not going yet, although that's probably what i'm gonna do tonight.
my neck's been giving me problems lately. the chairs and the cubes in the company just don't quite sit well with me. no matter how i sit, it just don't feel comfortable, n i've been having this neck pain since about a week into the job.
tried to get a pillow for it. there was one that i know of from dunlopillo, made from natural rubber, around RM70++. looked for it when i was back in ipoh last time, but it seems like the pillow is not produced anymore. they came up with this new model, feels less solid, supposed to be better materials. costs about RM160!! fuck. i'm not that rich yet.
i'll probably need to see a doctor if this doesn't let up.
it dawned on me that there are certain group combinations that i usually do not like to go with. one of these is the oh-so-familiar-around-the-world-type -- a group of guys (read:wolves) on the prowl. if you're a guy, you'll know. you've been there before. well, if you're not a lifeless geek, that is. this combination just makes it so much harder to pick up any decent girls. i mean, c'mon, you're hanging out with a bunch of eyes-shining, saliva-drooling, sexually-depressed (at least they all look like it) guys, huddling around a table, oggling at any chick that passes by. if i were a chick, i'd just make a mental note to not let any of you near me.
the other type is the attention-crazed-girl-with-tons-a-guys combination. like, one or two girls, with tons of guys around, where most of the guys will be like trampling over each other to get to the (only) girl in the group. the girl's probably just with y'all cuz she don't want no cheesy strangers trying to pick her up. n that means y'all ain't getting laid with her either.
most people usually go with a pretty well-balanced group of guys n girls. you'd probably have to work at it to get anywhere in picking up girls in such a group if you don't have anything special (like me.), but at least you won't look such a loser unless you really screwed up big time.
the best is a guy with a bunch of pretty decent looking female friends. they don't have to be really hot or downright gorgeous, just decent looking. as far as i know, nothing screams out to women around that there's something special about you than being in a group like this in a club. i know, cuz when i club in such a group, i usually get picked up by chicks, instead of the other way around. honestly, everytime i'm out in such a group, i usually end up with someone not in the group at the end of the night.
so, when the invitations i got were all from the first two combinations, i just kinda felt tired to even go. well, i haven't really told anyone i'm not going yet, although that's probably what i'm gonna do tonight.
my neck's been giving me problems lately. the chairs and the cubes in the company just don't quite sit well with me. no matter how i sit, it just don't feel comfortable, n i've been having this neck pain since about a week into the job.
tried to get a pillow for it. there was one that i know of from dunlopillo, made from natural rubber, around RM70++. looked for it when i was back in ipoh last time, but it seems like the pillow is not produced anymore. they came up with this new model, feels less solid, supposed to be better materials. costs about RM160!! fuck. i'm not that rich yet.
i'll probably need to see a doctor if this doesn't let up.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
softskills training
These 2 days of softkills training were really fun. I didn't really expect it to be so easy. I was just basically saying the logical and boom! the answer was right. :)
There are quite some of the stuff that we had to memorize and go by the rules as the company's trying to protect their corporate/professional image.
Made quite a few new friends here. Mostly, I'd say, are the kinda of friends you say hi to and have fun with only. Not the type to go into anything deeper. Seems like everyone secretly looking after themselves.
It was obvious from how everyone was keeping things to themselves, even when asked to share, and only sharing when there is no way to escape it. Very typical Asian culture. Everyone keeps their own knowledge to themselves. So whoever that has enough to share, but still able to hide enough for themselves, will definitely excel.
Kinda sad that this is happening in an American company.
There are quite some of the stuff that we had to memorize and go by the rules as the company's trying to protect their corporate/professional image.
Made quite a few new friends here. Mostly, I'd say, are the kinda of friends you say hi to and have fun with only. Not the type to go into anything deeper. Seems like everyone secretly looking after themselves.
It was obvious from how everyone was keeping things to themselves, even when asked to share, and only sharing when there is no way to escape it. Very typical Asian culture. Everyone keeps their own knowledge to themselves. So whoever that has enough to share, but still able to hide enough for themselves, will definitely excel.
Kinda sad that this is happening in an American company.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
resignation
I just handed in my resignation. The manager's on leave, so I just left the letter on her desk, then sent her an sms. I was kinda expecting to see her face and how she react, in person, when I hand it in, but this couldn't wait. I'm already asking for a shortened notice period as it is.
She did call almost immediately after getting my sms. Sound shocked on the phone, and kept bugging me about my reason for leaving. She just clammed up when I told her that I found a better offer. :) Been wanting to say that for a long time. She said she'll come back tomorrow so that we can discuss it further. I made it clear that the only thing left to be discussed is how soon I can leave.
Seriously though, I'm not being cruel or whatever. I really do need the extra time to prepare. I haven't even got myself a place to stay over in Penang, haven't found a car, let along decide on what I'm gonna pack and bring with me. There's probably gonna be some renovation for one of the rooms at home starting in about a week's time, since my brother's gonna be back soon. All in all, two weeks is probably not enough time for me to get everything perfect, being the perfectionist that I am. :P
As for the new job, it's probably not that much of a better offer, after considering all the extra expenses I'll have to deal with. It IS more or less better in the sense that it'll look more interesting on my resume, and that it has a better future than the dead-end-shit-pay job that I'm having now.
I probably shouldn't complain. There's a lot of people out there who are practically begging for any job they can get, with the market being as bad as it is. I AM thankful. Especially for being able to get outta this place. It'll probably mean no more abusing of a 2Mbps line and such, but I can live with that. :)
Plus, four years in Ipoh is enough. It's more or less like a Malaysian version of Florida - a place where it's probably good to retire to, minus the beautiful beaches and bitches. :)
Hopefully, next year will be a better year.
She did call almost immediately after getting my sms. Sound shocked on the phone, and kept bugging me about my reason for leaving. She just clammed up when I told her that I found a better offer. :) Been wanting to say that for a long time. She said she'll come back tomorrow so that we can discuss it further. I made it clear that the only thing left to be discussed is how soon I can leave.
Seriously though, I'm not being cruel or whatever. I really do need the extra time to prepare. I haven't even got myself a place to stay over in Penang, haven't found a car, let along decide on what I'm gonna pack and bring with me. There's probably gonna be some renovation for one of the rooms at home starting in about a week's time, since my brother's gonna be back soon. All in all, two weeks is probably not enough time for me to get everything perfect, being the perfectionist that I am. :P
As for the new job, it's probably not that much of a better offer, after considering all the extra expenses I'll have to deal with. It IS more or less better in the sense that it'll look more interesting on my resume, and that it has a better future than the dead-end-shit-pay job that I'm having now.
I probably shouldn't complain. There's a lot of people out there who are practically begging for any job they can get, with the market being as bad as it is. I AM thankful. Especially for being able to get outta this place. It'll probably mean no more abusing of a 2Mbps line and such, but I can live with that. :)
Plus, four years in Ipoh is enough. It's more or less like a Malaysian version of Florida - a place where it's probably good to retire to, minus the beautiful beaches and bitches. :)
Hopefully, next year will be a better year.
Thursday, December 9, 2004
what can i say?
Read this
That is the concise version. I got interested in that piece of news when I was scanning through a local Chinese daily this morning. What is not included in the online version, is information such as how the accused had been working for the post for 8 years, delivering mail via motorcycle and van, and is currently only getting RM500 per month.
With that piece of information, it is obvious that the fella actually did what he did to get to whatever that's worth something inside the mail that he's supposed to deliver for extra income.
What's wrong with this picture?
Aside from the obvious, that he has gone against his job ethics in tampering with the mail (which he is now paying for with 2 year's jail), is how badly paid some government servants are.
I said some, because I see those that get paid beyond what they deserve all the time. For example, you friendly local assemblymen. How many of them actually deserve to be where they are now, least of all getting paid for it? And those idiots that gets laptops everytime they go for a meeting? Oh please. Do they even know how to use a laptop?!
Let's take the PM for example. He's getting a monthly salary of over RM20k, has government provided housing and transport, tons of benefits, claims for traveling overseas... not to mention other *coughunderthetablecough* income sources. I'm sure if there ever was a in-depth investigation into what these government people are getting, we'll all see how unbelievably disappointing the whole system is.
The other thing is, I utterly fail to understand how someone working for the same company for 8 years can only be getting paid what part-timers, in their teens, can be easily getting. It's even a government subsidised corporation, for chrisakes!!
If these high up "officials" would only give up some of their income for charity every month, we probably won't even need to have any charity drives in the country at all.
Charity shows are another stupid idea. We often see charity shows that pays for artists/idols to attend and play games, get people to donate via the phone or whatever, give prizes the stars... blah blah yadda yadda. Didn't they even stop to think that, instead of spending all that money on hiring people, organising the show and buying the prizes, they might as well just donate those money to charity?
It's all a freaking show. That's what life is.
That is the concise version. I got interested in that piece of news when I was scanning through a local Chinese daily this morning. What is not included in the online version, is information such as how the accused had been working for the post for 8 years, delivering mail via motorcycle and van, and is currently only getting RM500 per month.
With that piece of information, it is obvious that the fella actually did what he did to get to whatever that's worth something inside the mail that he's supposed to deliver for extra income.
What's wrong with this picture?
Aside from the obvious, that he has gone against his job ethics in tampering with the mail (which he is now paying for with 2 year's jail), is how badly paid some government servants are.
I said some, because I see those that get paid beyond what they deserve all the time. For example, you friendly local assemblymen. How many of them actually deserve to be where they are now, least of all getting paid for it? And those idiots that gets laptops everytime they go for a meeting? Oh please. Do they even know how to use a laptop?!
Let's take the PM for example. He's getting a monthly salary of over RM20k, has government provided housing and transport, tons of benefits, claims for traveling overseas... not to mention other *coughunderthetablecough* income sources. I'm sure if there ever was a in-depth investigation into what these government people are getting, we'll all see how unbelievably disappointing the whole system is.
The other thing is, I utterly fail to understand how someone working for the same company for 8 years can only be getting paid what part-timers, in their teens, can be easily getting. It's even a government subsidised corporation, for chrisakes!!
If these high up "officials" would only give up some of their income for charity every month, we probably won't even need to have any charity drives in the country at all.
Charity shows are another stupid idea. We often see charity shows that pays for artists/idols to attend and play games, get people to donate via the phone or whatever, give prizes the stars... blah blah yadda yadda. Didn't they even stop to think that, instead of spending all that money on hiring people, organising the show and buying the prizes, they might as well just donate those money to charity?
It's all a freaking show. That's what life is.
Wednesday, December 8, 2004
multi-level marketing
Check this out at Qualoos! MLM Scams
Given, some of the language the article used and certain ways that they present their opinions spell at least a little discrimination against multi-level marketing, or direct sales as it's more popularly known in Malaysia, most of what it says rings truth.
I myself have attended quite a few of these rallies, which is supposedly to educated/encourage members to sell the products. In reality, I see cheesy middle age men and women giving bullshit speeches about how they succeeded, while they profess not to be able to answer a lot of the questions I asked, saying that it'll all be clear once I joined.
Another thing that seriously causes a doubt is that, if it is true that these companies really earn money from selling actual products, instead of charging for memberships, books, tapes, seminars/trainings etc, why is it that it's never enough that you buy products from one of their members? If you ever buy a product from any member, you'll get pestered again and again to join as a member yourself, getting thrown at with how much you can save if you join, and how much more you can save/earn if you get downlines yourself.
The similarity between this and how beggar kids in Thailand will flock to you if you ever give a single coin to any single one of them.
I think it's ok if you treat MLM as a part-time job for a little extra income, or if you join an MLM program because their product is really good and you really wanna use them. If you plan on making it full-time, make sure you have something to fall back on. And don't freaking try to build your downline using friends and family, you'd end up losing those too.
Then again... one would be better off getting a REAL part-time job. I mean, Amway salesman really doesn't look well on a resume.
Given, some of the language the article used and certain ways that they present their opinions spell at least a little discrimination against multi-level marketing, or direct sales as it's more popularly known in Malaysia, most of what it says rings truth.
I myself have attended quite a few of these rallies, which is supposedly to educated/encourage members to sell the products. In reality, I see cheesy middle age men and women giving bullshit speeches about how they succeeded, while they profess not to be able to answer a lot of the questions I asked, saying that it'll all be clear once I joined.
Another thing that seriously causes a doubt is that, if it is true that these companies really earn money from selling actual products, instead of charging for memberships, books, tapes, seminars/trainings etc, why is it that it's never enough that you buy products from one of their members? If you ever buy a product from any member, you'll get pestered again and again to join as a member yourself, getting thrown at with how much you can save if you join, and how much more you can save/earn if you get downlines yourself.
The similarity between this and how beggar kids in Thailand will flock to you if you ever give a single coin to any single one of them.
I think it's ok if you treat MLM as a part-time job for a little extra income, or if you join an MLM program because their product is really good and you really wanna use them. If you plan on making it full-time, make sure you have something to fall back on. And don't freaking try to build your downline using friends and family, you'd end up losing those too.
Then again... one would be better off getting a REAL part-time job. I mean, Amway salesman really doesn't look well on a resume.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
a change, maybe?
Went for a night of (not-quite)partying and an interview with Dell Penang last weekend. The number of people who turned up was overwhelming. Around 260 in a 4-5 hour period, and this is only one of the interviews. I heard another one's to be held in KL sometime next month.
The experience was not as impressive as I expected it to be. Most of the 4-hour I spent there was for waiting. The actual test and interview took me only around 1.5 hours. I think I did good. It's not really a good job, but it pays well, and I haven't lived in Penang for an extended period before, so I'm seriously hoping I get the job and have a change in environment.
The clubbing part was just decent. Susi was all about picking up/getting picked up by any white man. She got her wish, in a fairly twisted way. The guy was so freaking desperate and rude, pushing through me and Daniel to get to her. Then hit on one of the other girls when she didn't show much interested. Switched back to hogging her when Daniel talked him down. Followed us outta the club, almost across the road to the car park when we left.
He looked like he frequents clubs like those fishing for Asian chicks, so I'm seriously wondering how dumb is he to not realise that women can ALWAYS smell desperate from a mile away. Desperate = not getting laid. Elementary logic.
The crowd was pretty cool though, not as much ahbengs and ahlians as I expected. Some fine young women around too. I might really get to like the Penang clubbing scene.
Paul van Dyke will be in KL on Dec 10. Tickets are on presale already. I'm kinda thinking that I probably won't make it cos mom's birthday's just around that time. It'll be great if I could make it. Although I'm thinking that I might not wanna go with Rajev, Murali and the rest. I'll probably end up with an Indian chick if I did that, which, coincidentally, I'm not really interested in right now. :P
That also means that I'll probably have to cough up some dough for a hotel room or something. argh.
The experience was not as impressive as I expected it to be. Most of the 4-hour I spent there was for waiting. The actual test and interview took me only around 1.5 hours. I think I did good. It's not really a good job, but it pays well, and I haven't lived in Penang for an extended period before, so I'm seriously hoping I get the job and have a change in environment.
The clubbing part was just decent. Susi was all about picking up/getting picked up by any white man. She got her wish, in a fairly twisted way. The guy was so freaking desperate and rude, pushing through me and Daniel to get to her. Then hit on one of the other girls when she didn't show much interested. Switched back to hogging her when Daniel talked him down. Followed us outta the club, almost across the road to the car park when we left.
He looked like he frequents clubs like those fishing for Asian chicks, so I'm seriously wondering how dumb is he to not realise that women can ALWAYS smell desperate from a mile away. Desperate = not getting laid. Elementary logic.
The crowd was pretty cool though, not as much ahbengs and ahlians as I expected. Some fine young women around too. I might really get to like the Penang clubbing scene.
Paul van Dyke will be in KL on Dec 10. Tickets are on presale already. I'm kinda thinking that I probably won't make it cos mom's birthday's just around that time. It'll be great if I could make it. Although I'm thinking that I might not wanna go with Rajev, Murali and the rest. I'll probably end up with an Indian chick if I did that, which, coincidentally, I'm not really interested in right now. :P
That also means that I'll probably have to cough up some dough for a hotel room or something. argh.
Monday, September 27, 2004
reality v
"The price of getting what you want is getting what once you wanted."
-- Dream, in Sandman:Dream County, by Neil Gaiman.
This is so true. People always want something, and when they get what they want, they want something else.
It's not just about the greediness inherent in everyone, although that is a huge chunk of it. Everyone covets something. It might be a book, a fancy dress, an elegantly designed antique clock, that flashy sports car everyone's talking about, recognition, fame, wealth or even your neighbour's wife. It's always the coveting or wanting that motivates people to strive, but on the other hand, it's also this that makes people greedy and not be satisfied or treasure what they have.
Thus, when you get what you want, you want something else, and what you got became what once you wanted.
Looking at it from another point of view, specifically analyzing what 'price' really mean, the quote takes on a different meaning.
Suppose that you want something real bad. Suppose that something is a woman that you find attractive. You'd do all it takes to get her, to have her as your own and to love her and have her love you back. When you do get her, you find that what attracted you at first wasn't all that important. Or worse yet, you might find out that all that you've seen before was just a facade, an image she projected herself to be just because she wanted you.
Or, suppose that what you want is a car that you've seen and heard so much about. You think that it's the best for you and you strive to get one for yourself. When you finally did, you found that its fuel consumption is too much, the handling isn't as good as you thought it'll be or maybe you saw another car, a new model, in the market that seems so much better than the one you have.
You see, things are not always what it seems, and most people seriously do not understand what they actually want. That's why most of us just trudge along the sometimes muddy road of life looking for that something that might be buried under the mud that we all believe will make the road that much more easier or exciting to walk along. If we'd only look up long enough once in a while, we'll probably know that it really doesn't matter whether you find what you think you're looking for or not, the road is short enough as it is and it'll do you well to just walk along with your head up and eyes in front.
It's not always a happy ending when wishes come true. When you finally get what you've always wanted, you might be disappointed because it wasn't really what you want, or maybe it's not what you want anymore.
-- Dream, in Sandman:Dream County, by Neil Gaiman.
This is so true. People always want something, and when they get what they want, they want something else.
It's not just about the greediness inherent in everyone, although that is a huge chunk of it. Everyone covets something. It might be a book, a fancy dress, an elegantly designed antique clock, that flashy sports car everyone's talking about, recognition, fame, wealth or even your neighbour's wife. It's always the coveting or wanting that motivates people to strive, but on the other hand, it's also this that makes people greedy and not be satisfied or treasure what they have.
Thus, when you get what you want, you want something else, and what you got became what once you wanted.
Looking at it from another point of view, specifically analyzing what 'price' really mean, the quote takes on a different meaning.
Suppose that you want something real bad. Suppose that something is a woman that you find attractive. You'd do all it takes to get her, to have her as your own and to love her and have her love you back. When you do get her, you find that what attracted you at first wasn't all that important. Or worse yet, you might find out that all that you've seen before was just a facade, an image she projected herself to be just because she wanted you.
Or, suppose that what you want is a car that you've seen and heard so much about. You think that it's the best for you and you strive to get one for yourself. When you finally did, you found that its fuel consumption is too much, the handling isn't as good as you thought it'll be or maybe you saw another car, a new model, in the market that seems so much better than the one you have.
You see, things are not always what it seems, and most people seriously do not understand what they actually want. That's why most of us just trudge along the sometimes muddy road of life looking for that something that might be buried under the mud that we all believe will make the road that much more easier or exciting to walk along. If we'd only look up long enough once in a while, we'll probably know that it really doesn't matter whether you find what you think you're looking for or not, the road is short enough as it is and it'll do you well to just walk along with your head up and eyes in front.
It's not always a happy ending when wishes come true. When you finally get what you've always wanted, you might be disappointed because it wasn't really what you want, or maybe it's not what you want anymore.
Friday, September 24, 2004
reality iii
The only thing in the world you can depend on is yourself. That is, if you are really brave enough and willing to do the right thing at the right time.
reality ii
Learn to play with the cards you're dealt. Cheating is allowed if you don't get caught. That's because history is always written by the winners.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
reality i
It's cruel.
Dreams are always sweet and perfect, but you always have to wake up. That's when things get really ugly and you know there's nothing you can do but live with it.
Dreams are always sweet and perfect, but you always have to wake up. That's when things get really ugly and you know there's nothing you can do but live with it.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
missing someone
It's weird how you can miss someone. It could be someone you love, like, hate, barely seen, or just absolutely despise. Maybe it's your classmate(s), or a lover(ex-lover, maybe?), your parents... it's just downright weird.
Sometime you'd suddenly think about a stranger that passed you by in the mall. Maybe it was a cute girl or a hot chick, or maybe someone that has a special, attractive aura, or maybe it's someone with a weird/great fashion sense. Sometimes you might regret not introducing yourself, or you might think what kinda person that was, how he/she is like or maybe what would've happened if you took the chance to say hi.
I think that's a kind of missing someone too. Some people I know would go back to the same place at roughly the same time to see if they can meet the other person again. Some would tell friends that they regret not taking the chance, and that they would've acted differently if given another chance.
Most of the time, I think it's because that you really love someone. When I say love here, I don't mean love as in loving a lover, partner or spouse. Probably just loving someone cos he/she is a true friend. You'd always think about how they're doing or what they're up to. Are they doing better than before? Or maybe they're in trouble?
This is very real, especially when you haven't seen, heard from or talk to the friend in question for a long time. You'd miss seeing his/her smiling face, or the great conversations that you had. I have friends like these. Some of us have so much piled up to be done yesterday, we just couldn't meet up as often as we can. Most of us are hundreds, and even thousands, of miles apart, and so we have to settle with the emails and instant chats, sometimes the occassional "are-you-still-alive-cos-i-am-thinking-of-you" cards. Distance is such a bitch. :P
Then there's kind that everyone likes and are willing to suffer for, thinking that it's part of what happiness is. The kind that applies to lovers and couples and even those that secretly admire someone but are too afraid to admit it, let alone do anything about it.
You'd miss the smiles and the twinkling of the eyes. Their laughter. The tiny little unobtrusive body language that somehow, unknowingly, pulls at your heart everytime you see it, and so you always wait and hope that you'll see it again. The warmth and the feeling of everything falling into place like it's destined when you're together. It's like you'd die if you don't see each other for a day, even though you see each other almost everyday and when you don't, you're always messaging or chatting on the phone. (Or maybe even online...)
Honestly, though, the worst situation would be sitting right next to someone and missing him/her because you know that this is the closest you'd ever get and you could never have him/her. There'd be all sorts of what-if's and if-only's but you'd know, deep down inside, that it'll never be. It's hard to accept that fact, and even though you might somehow think you had accepted it, you'd still wish that it could be more. It's sorta like being so near, but still oceans apart somehow...
"Miles and miles of empty space in between us,
A telephone can't take the place of your smile..."
- When I Need You, Leo Slayer.
Sometime you'd suddenly think about a stranger that passed you by in the mall. Maybe it was a cute girl or a hot chick, or maybe someone that has a special, attractive aura, or maybe it's someone with a weird/great fashion sense. Sometimes you might regret not introducing yourself, or you might think what kinda person that was, how he/she is like or maybe what would've happened if you took the chance to say hi.
I think that's a kind of missing someone too. Some people I know would go back to the same place at roughly the same time to see if they can meet the other person again. Some would tell friends that they regret not taking the chance, and that they would've acted differently if given another chance.
Most of the time, I think it's because that you really love someone. When I say love here, I don't mean love as in loving a lover, partner or spouse. Probably just loving someone cos he/she is a true friend. You'd always think about how they're doing or what they're up to. Are they doing better than before? Or maybe they're in trouble?
This is very real, especially when you haven't seen, heard from or talk to the friend in question for a long time. You'd miss seeing his/her smiling face, or the great conversations that you had. I have friends like these. Some of us have so much piled up to be done yesterday, we just couldn't meet up as often as we can. Most of us are hundreds, and even thousands, of miles apart, and so we have to settle with the emails and instant chats, sometimes the occassional "are-you-still-alive-cos-i-am-thinking-of-you" cards. Distance is such a bitch. :P
Then there's kind that everyone likes and are willing to suffer for, thinking that it's part of what happiness is. The kind that applies to lovers and couples and even those that secretly admire someone but are too afraid to admit it, let alone do anything about it.
You'd miss the smiles and the twinkling of the eyes. Their laughter. The tiny little unobtrusive body language that somehow, unknowingly, pulls at your heart everytime you see it, and so you always wait and hope that you'll see it again. The warmth and the feeling of everything falling into place like it's destined when you're together. It's like you'd die if you don't see each other for a day, even though you see each other almost everyday and when you don't, you're always messaging or chatting on the phone. (Or maybe even online...)
Honestly, though, the worst situation would be sitting right next to someone and missing him/her because you know that this is the closest you'd ever get and you could never have him/her. There'd be all sorts of what-if's and if-only's but you'd know, deep down inside, that it'll never be. It's hard to accept that fact, and even though you might somehow think you had accepted it, you'd still wish that it could be more. It's sorta like being so near, but still oceans apart somehow...
"Miles and miles of empty space in between us,
A telephone can't take the place of your smile..."
- When I Need You, Leo Slayer.
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